http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/List_of_weapons_that_don%27t_exist,_but_should
While this isn’t the funniest thing I’ve ever read, it does have its moments. Namely this one:
Armed monkey
Greenpeace has often claimed that humans are the only animals that go to war. This is one of the most devastating attacks against war, one for which no known rebuttal exists. The solution is simple, though: put another animal in the army! All it takes is one monkey with a semi automatic, and those hippie bastards have to shut the hell up.
It is often mistakenly believed that the US Army has already employed a monkey. This is not true. George W. Bush was never actually in the army; he merely had papers saying that he was.
See also: gorilla warfare.