Top craigslist: Free to a Good Home

The cat from hell. Makes me appreciate Ms. Fluffypants more, at least!

It drinks pop.
I love bacon, yet it’s become contraband since the “incident”.
(Which my girlfriend still somehow regards as my fault, as if I encouraged the fucking thing to snatch sizzling bacon right out of the pan, headfirst, then tear-ass around the house alternating between muted howling and ragged, gasping swallows.)
It has, on a number of occasions, snarfed an entire pack of cigarettes.

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