If Twilight Was 10 Times Shorter And 100 Times More Honest | Cracked.com


It’s not often Cracked absolutely nails something, but kudos for this; I read the synopsis of the much-hyped Twilight novels on Wikipedia, and even that short exposure was enough to turn my stomach. I can’t imagine sitting through a full length movie, which necessarily dumbs down an already stupid novel.

KRISTEN STEWART: I want you to make me a vampire so that I can be with you, even if it means sacrificing my own life as a mortal.

ROBERT PATTINSON: So, the next generation of young women are currently flocking to see a female lead starring in a movie by a female director based on a bestselling book by a female author, and in this movie the main character wants to become completely submissive and self-sacrificing for a male.

KRISTEN STEWART: I love you. Put a baby in me.

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