The recent papal kerfuffle left me exasperatedly speechless. Luckily, The Christ decided to intervene and stop the nonsense:
Jesus Christ – a leading figure in modern Christianity – returned to Earth today after a nearly 2,000-year hiatus. The Second Coming was cut short, however, as Christ, 37, went directly to the Vatican and punched Pope Benedict XVI square in the mouth. Jesus then ascended back to heaven.
While a bloodied Benedict had no comment, Christ put out a press release shortly before his ascension.
“My children, it is not my time yet,” read the statement in part. “But someone had to give that A-hole a good face punching, and the buck stops here.”
According to reports, Christ delivered a vicious right cross to the Pontiff’s mouth, healed him, then punched him again and left without saying a word.
Excellent theological discussion from Rrrick by way of Frannyy.