Slate writer attempts über-trendiness by following the often-ridiculous advice of the NY Times’ Style section. Hilarity (or bemusement, anyway) ensues.
Mocking strangers to their baby faces was harder than I thought. But if trendiness was easy, then we’d all be silk-screening our own postcards. I decided to give it another go, walking over to a fuzzless man selling eyeglasses. After some small talk, I pounced.
Me: Do the other vendors ever make fun of you for not having a beard?
Vendor: What? What are you talking about?
Me (panicking): You know, ’cause they all seem to have beards and mustaches.
Vendor: Oh, I thought you said beer.
Me: No, I said beard.
Vendor: Yeah, sometimes they do.
Me: Should I make fun of you for not having a beard?
Vendor: Go right ahead!
Me: Your hairless face is disgusting to me.