Two Chinese miners clawed their way out of a cave-in with the help of a cell phone light, coal snacks, and copious amounts of Urine-Ade. One wonders, though, if the happiness one’s wife felt was tempered somewhat by his statements to the press:

Despairing, Meng Xianyou said: “I told my brother, your wife is going to have to marry someone else.”

“I said, ‘Right, I had been thinking about buying an apartment in town for my wife and it was going to be someone else’s,'” Meng Xianchen added.

“I laughed too, I said my wife could find a rich man in Shenyang. But then I thought, I have two children and my wife is ugly, so it’d be hard for her to remarry,” his brother joked.

She’ll be throwing him back down that mine shaft soon enough…

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