http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090625/ap_en_mo/us_film_transformers_jar_jar_again_18 Transformers 2 is out, which goes a long way towards explaining why I’ve seen only two movies (Wall-E and Up) in the past three years. The rest of the explanation is made up by this excerpt from multi-kajillionaire producer, Michael Bay, here being forced to explain why two characters in his blockbuster are portrayed […]
Tag Archives: crappy-movies
After Last Season – Movie Trailers – iTunes
http://www.apple.com/trailers/independent/afterlastseason/ Brechtian exercise or underfunded student movie? Unwatchable either way, so who cares?
100 Best Movie Lines in 200 Seconds | Liquid Generation
http://www.liquidgeneration.com/Media/Videos/LG_Originals/Top_10_Lists/100_Best_Movie_Lines_in_200_Seconds/ Cute concept, but in the first 17 seconds I saw Adam Sandler, Arnold Schwartzenegger, Mel Brooks and Chris Farley, amongst other regrettable “stars”. Their idea of best movie lines does not match my idea of best movie lines.
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http://news.yahoo.com/s/eonline/20090130/en_top_eo/81608 Sex and the City Sequel: What We Won’t Be Seeing! Three dimensional characters, thoughtful writing, women who don’t fall apart without a man, avoidance of wish fulfillment fantasies, and restraint or class in costuming? Just a guess.
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http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20090108/en_nm/us_peopleschoice_1 The hyperviolent (as well as hyper-badly-written and hyper-badly-acted) Batman: The Dark Knight has won several People’s Choice Awards. Yet more proof that the People’s taste stinks, and their recommendations are to be avoided. Batman movie “The Dark Knight” soared away with five People’s Choice Awards on Wednesday including favorite movie and on-screen pairing for […]
Apple – Trailers – How to Lose Friends and Alienate People – Medium
http://www.apple.com/trailers/mgm/howtolosefriendsandalienatepeople/medium.html Another flat-premised, gross-out humoured American comedy, this one even crappier than Run, Fat Boy, Run. Oh, Simon Pegg, say it ain’t so! Your story arc from witty Britcom darling to American sell-out is summed up in the voiceover: “The story of a man who worked his way to the bottom, and kept on going.”
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http://www.bravenewtraveler.com/2008/05/27/the-red-pill-10-films-guaranteed-to-blow-your-mind/ “10 Films Guaranteed to Blow Your Mind.” I find it fitting that those whose minds are fit to be blown would consider these overwrought and undergood films to be life-changing. Personally, I found most of them dreary and pseudo-intellectual – meaning silly and unprofound. And after being forced to sit through two hours of […]
30 Upcoming Movie Sequels You Didnt Know About – Den of Geek
http://www.denofgeek.com/movies/13412/30_upcoming_movie_sequels_you_didnt_know_about.html A list of movie sequels in development, of which I plan to see exactly one. (Hint: It’s a Pixar film.) Who said Hollywood can’t come up with an original idea? Oh, that’s right, EVERYONE.
Me & You, Us, Forever – Movie Trailers – iTunes
http://www.apple.com/trailers/independent/meyouusforever/ A 47 year old Christian man, on the other side of an unwanted divorce, thinks back and reminisces about his old high school girlfriend and first love of 30 years ago. This is, handily, the most promising trailer I’ve seen in ages. No dialogue, sappy flashbacks, wooden acting, and a “Christian” undercurrent? This will […]
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http://www.apple.com/trailers/magnolia/flawless/trailer/ The legacy of Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels and The Full Monty is that every British film plot since has either been about a heist or a group taking on an unlikely project, usually in a cheeky manner. This is the former and the latter, but without the cheek. No thanks. And anyway, […]