The Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes wedding plans reveal more about the “religion” of Scientology. It seemed implausible in the first place, but reading some of the vows moves this squarely into the realm of the ridiculous:

In the old-fashioned language that marks the Traditional version, the groom is reminded that “girls” need “clothes and food and tender happiness and frills, a pan, a comb, perhaps a cat” — and is asked to provide them all.

The bride, in turn, is told that “young men are free and may forget” their promises.

In short, boy Scientologists can play away as much as they like without worry, as their wives are easily distracted by shiny things. Given Katie Holmes’ vapid expressions since she started dating Mr. Scientology, this is quite accurate.

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